Yesterday at work, word spread like wildfire that Oprah has just given everyone in America free chicken. FREE CHICKEN! Woooo!

One of the girls at work got particularly excited and keep telling everyone, “Oprah dot com slash KFC!”

I called some friends, and several of us made plans to hit up the nearest KFC. It was across town, but that’s no matter. FREE CHICKEN!

After a 15 minute car ride, including the interstate, we walked into the restaurant. There was a little bit of a line, but only 4 people ahead of us.

Ten minutes later? Still 4 people. We start murmuring. “What’s going on here?”

I craned my neck around to see what was going on, and the employees looked like they weren’t aware of the economy and that they should be glad to have a job. What the heck… FREE CHICKEN!

Forty-five minutes later, we’re finally at the front of the line. Of course, the girl taking the orders is also the girl filling the orders. With gusto? Not at all. Apparently everyone else is on break. And staring at me.

At this point, I’m engaging in some serious people-watching of the employees. Then my attention turns to the manager, and she appears poised to break down and sob at any moment. Apparently she finds no pride in being a General Manager of a restaurant.

It was right smack in the middle of my sympathy that the GM then took her hand and transferred to it the excess snot from her nose.

Ohhhhh! So that’s why I haven’t been to KFC in years!

“Hey, so… the general manager just snotted her hand and didn’t wash. You two want to go somewhere else and get food?” Blank stares from the whole line. Mission accomplished. (It was the KFC at 5802 Charlotte Avenue in Nashville, just in case you’re wondering where you should never go for chicken, free or otherwise.)

Apparently my horrible experience with KFC and Coupon-gate (I’m the first, woo!) isn’t isolated, though I think the New Yorkers staging a sit-in and demanding free chicken probably took it too far. What sort of world are those folks living in that a franchise refusing to honor a coupon deserves the same treatment that folks a generation ago gave the lunch counters to achieve civil rights?