Shrek doesn’t like donkeys. I don’t like dogs. But you don’t see anyone hatin’ on Shrek. Why? Donkeys aren’t cuddly. The comments I get from dog-lovers when I’m around dogs are starting to make me consider hating the dog-lovers themselves. Lemme ‘splain something to you: I simply don’t like dogs. It’s not that I hate them, and neither am I scared of them. If you were to happen upon a situation in which a dog is around me, you’d find me ignoring the little guy. I won’t bend down and lose my mind over the ball of fluff, but I won’t kick it either. And if I hated dogs, I could do a lot worse than that.
But the seemingly growing human constituency of dogs obviously sees this encounter between me and man’s best freeloader as a prime example of my abhorrence for the creature. It is simply untrue. It is an example of my capacity to maintain dignity in circumstances that, for some reason which I am nowhere near discovering, cause normal humans abandon all social behavioral norms. Apparently the creatures are simply far too cuddawie wuddawie to just pet and move on. I believe the main reason for my stayoffishness towards dogs is this human behavior I have just outlined for you. No, I submit that it is not the dogs’ fault. “But Kevin, what are your kid’s gonna do for a pet?” Oh, please… they’ll get their hermit crabs. But I will not have any of these flea balls roaming my living quarters.
On behalf of all others with the ability to see dogs as mammals instead of personifying a collie because he saved Timmy and you think you saw him smile once, lay off with the contempt. Your behavior is as ridiculous to me as the bug lover’s is to you.
